3/11/10

What Jesus means to me
Couple weeks ago Pastor Greg asked us to think about what Jesus means to us. At that point I was emotionally overwhelmed thinking of all Jesus means to me especially over the last 6 months. 6 month ago I got the news that I have cancer again this time in my sinus after dealing with this 14 years ago I thought the odds were in my favor. This time it was already advanced and would require even more aggressive treatment. On April 1st 1979 I had accepted Jesus as my savior. 5 years ago during another difficult time I had accepted him as my Lord and was sanctified. I turned things over and was sometimes challenged on those decisions. Turning your belongings to him and having most of your yard gone through a flood, turning your marriage over to Him and having your wife ask for a divorce. Every time I struggled but kept reminding myself that I gave Him my Life with all it entails and He has restored my house and most of all my marriage. At no time did I envision the health challenge but even there He is faithful. I was anointed with oil and prayed over last November prior to my 12 hour surgery. My prayer then as now is that He be glorified however this turns out. I have struggled with many things in the last several months but He has and will continue to meet my needs. Sometimes just in the last second. The examples are numerous. Not just being told that He loves me and you are being prayed for but the tangible things that made Him come alive and not just a belief such as, while in the hospital Friends spent the night every night so Kathy could get a break. A Friend moved in and was up with me every night as I was trying to breathe and figure things out so Kathy could sleep and do it in the day when he had to work. People I don’t even know committed to bring food for months and cards and prayers. The rides to treatments, the walks or the just sitting with me, to divert from the panic, the fear and the frustration. The voicemail messages reminding me that HE loves me and people. For over 3 month I slept in 1.5 hour blocks that in addition to doing chemo once a week while doing radiation 5x weekly were a challenge I found myself unprepared for. Christ carried me through via His body that is all of you He even used non-Christians to minister to me I guess if he can use donkeys and large fish he can use people too. This went way over what friends do but it is HIM and HIS actions through HIS Body that allow me to be here now. I had a short-term goal to go to Camp Gideon with some men and got discouraged that I would not be able to manage due to the lack of sleep and the feeding tube. Last week I got new medication that allows me to sleep and the feeding tube was removed a month early and I am planning to go. My spiritual memory sometimes is very short but HE is and always will be faithful and to HIM belong all praise because this was not a Jurgen effort or a team effort but a God effort through HIS Body Thank you.